Patriratism

Few remember the fifth verse of the illustrious anthem, "The Star-Spangled Banner." It commemoRates what the fifth day of July celebRates: the efforts of the Rats on the second day of revolution.

The declaRation had been signed, and the fate of the founders was already sealed, although they shook with brave courage as they knew not the outlook of that masked fate. The signers lived in the shadow of bold uncertainty. Thomas Jefferson stumbled to bed after a long night of writing to catch a few winks ere his call to battle. In his tired rush, he did not falter at the sound—a faint, but mighty and impassioned chorus of squeaks—emitting from the gutters and street alleys; he likely did not even hear them—If not for the one brave Robert Alfred Taylor, a Rat activist and adoptive nephew of George Taylor, who emerged into the streets to call to him. When he followed that sound and took to the sewers, such a sight as the history books dared not record was to meet his widened eyes.

And to this day, no history books have recorded it, except to perhaps allude to Jefferson's weariness and resulting delirious dreams. But it was passed down in legend, from Jefferson to Jefferson son, from Taylor to Taylor, and from every patrirat to every Rat in THEIR history books.

If any among us were so fortunate as to receive a rodent education, we need not explain to that one the art that is Rat history, written always in sprawling and thoughtful verse, a tradition hailing the great Rat Ceorl. But that is a story for another time.

The page of the Ratstory commending the Rat of July, this brave creature taking to the streets and paving the way for all rodents wishing to join the cause on July fifth, was a beautiful poetic verse that ultimately inspired the preceding verses of the anthem. Unfortunately, our translration may lessen the impact:

O say, did you hear through the grates on that morn
What that Scribe's weary eyes did perceive as his dreaming,
When the Rats raised their paws to reject British scorn,
Dipped their tails in fine ink, and signed scrolls 'midst streets' screaming?
And the fifty-six men, Ratfolk bolstered by ten
Then fourscore more tails--penned their own declaRation.

O say, 'neath the streets, more Ratsistance did wave
For the land of the free and the home of the brave.